In preparation of the New Year “festivities”, the national news covered a Las Vegas business by the name of Hangover Heaven founded by a physician who touts his cure for hangovers. If this wasn’t so sad it would be hilarious. Read it and weep.
Overview/Bio – Hangover Heaven
Dr. Burke is a Duke University trained anesthesiologist and has dedicated his career to ending hangovers. We can handle vacation-wrecking hangovers. Just give us a call and we can send our shuttle or come to your room. We have treated over 10,000 clients in the comfort of their room. Our hangover cures do involve a small, pediatric IV, but they are extremely effective. We do use numbing medicine on your skin and the whole process is virtually painless.
I’m sure glad that I didn’t pay for his Duke education. How does one go from being an anesthesiologist to dedicating a career to ending hangovers? I guess if you’re an expert in putting people “out” why not say that you’re an expert in bringing them “back”? Boy, oh boy…if you live long enough you DO see it all.
I may not be a Duke-trained anesthesiologist (thank God) but I am an expert in my own right. Here’s my prescription for your hangover:
1. If you don’t have the maturity not to drink yourself in to oblivion you’re probably not mature enough to be left alone in Las Vegas in the first place. Have some self-discipline and don’t drink like a fish. You will pay the price physically well beyond your hangover symptoms and the consequences of your actions may haunt you forever.
2. Stop thinking of doctors as “gods”. Doctors don’t have all of the answers and there isn’t a “cure” for all that ails you. At some point you need to take responsibility for yourself and your own health (and well-being). Stop treating your body as if it’s perpetually indestructible. There are some things that the god-doctors can’t fix and NONE of us are going to live forever.
3. Hydrate yourself – don’t hire the
witch doctor to do it for you with a house call IV service that will set you back $300 a shot. You didn’t seem to have any trouble downing all of that alcohol, surely you’re capable of drinking water! Not just any water will do though. If you have a “I-wish-I-was-dead” hangover you may have difficulty consuming the amount of ordinary water necessary to flush out the alcohol and hydrate the system. After all, your challenged stomach can only take so much! However, if you drink restructured water known to hydrate at the cellular level, you will be on the mend in no time. Due to the molecular structure of this water, the body will begin to absorb the water long before it hits that abused belly of yours. I’m assuming that you must recognize the difference between “good” alcohol and “bad” alcohol so surely you understand that not all water is created equal either.
This good doctor may be making a killing on the reckless behavior of others, and he may think that he’s thought of everything to capitalize on these poor goons, but it looks like he left a few southern traits behind in North Carolina. ETHICS and RESPECT for people of Faith. No decent southerner would take advantage of those less fortunate nor would they mock Heaven the way this guy does. Oh well…he sure fits the Vegas profile.
What happens in Vegas…(hopefully) stays in Vegas.
CHANGING THE WAY THE WORLD LOOKS AT WATER
ONE DROP AT A TIME!
CLICK HERE for sobering water info!